Monthly Archive for February, 2006

For your caching needs

Your website is attracting a lot of visitor and taking much of your bandwidth? You are the kind of person who submit a lot of content to social bookmarks and get hit by the traffic? Well, you should consider using the cache function provided by PHP. It will save you many downtime and bandwidth by creating a page which will act like an html in content but will still provide the php functions (posting). The first option is http://www.ilovejackdaniels.com/php/caching-output-in-php/ The first one is a really nice script by Daniel. I loved it. The only problem I had was with
php_value auto_prepend_file /begin_caching.php php_value auto_append_file /end_caching.php
due to the fact we can’t use these in the .htaccess on the server. But I figured a way you could make it still be working. Here is how. The user make a page and call it loader.php (for example). In the .htaccess, you use the following:
RewriteRule ^([a-z]+)$ loader.php?p=$1
This will tranfert to the loader a variable which is the page name. In the loader.php, you use the following:
This way, each time people get on ANY page, they get the loader to add the begin and end cache and loads the page between, without using the use php_value, hope I helped some of you guys 🙂 Second option is http://www.devshed.com/c/a/PHP/Output-Caching-with-PHP/ This one is for more advanced programmers because it requires some understanding of the process going on. I’d rather stick to the first option if you’re looking for a good caching without getting too much involvement in the script.

Amazing Google Video – “Quantum Physics Double Slit Experiment”

This experiment shows the really mysterious behavior of quantam particles. Electrons behaving like waves and then like marbles? Mind blowingly cool.

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Why you should continue to date me

Best explanation ever. Containing graphical explainations @ culturehole.

Get some of my musics

It’s been a while since v2 is been worked on (though I don’t work really much on it because I’m at school) so I decided I would give people the possibility to hear it once again 🙂 You can go to http://djzarek.com.ru/musique/ which is the directory where the musics are being kept. There’s no design, it’s only an index but it’s good enough for you so you can download them.

Best pickup lines (or may I say funniest)

Is your dad a thief or something? Because someone stole the stars and put them into your eyes! I may not be Fred Flintstone but I can sure make your bed rock! Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? I lost my number, can I have yours? Is your father a baker? Because those sure are some nice buns! Call the police!! It has to be illegal to look that fine! Is your father a terrorist? Because you’re the bomb! You: Excuse me can I borrow a quarter, it is an emergency? Other: Yea sure, what’s wrong? You: My mom told me to give her a call the first time I fell in love. If you were a Sprite, I’d obey my thirst! Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk past you again? You: You look like my second wife! Other: How many times have you been married? You: Once! If I told you you had a gorgeous body, would you hold it against me? If I followed you home, would you keep me? Damn, I’m glad I’m not blind! Go over to the person with a sugar packet and say, “Excuse me, I think you dropped your name tag.” Are you an over due book? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you! If you were a booger, I’d pick you. Baby you must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all night! The body is made up of 90% water and I’m thirsty. Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants. I was once told that our souls had met, now only our hearts had to be introduced. Is your name Gillette? Because you’re the best a man can get! I think I need to call heaven because they’ve lost one of their angels. You dropped your smile; can I pick it up for you? Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes. If someone is wearing a shirt with writing on it, go up to them and ask them, “Can I read your shirt in brail?” Smile if you want to sleep with me! You know what would look great on you? Me. You must be the reason for global warming because you’re hot. Am I cute enough yet? Or do you need more to drink? If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. Are you sure that we haven’t met somewhere in a past life? I wish I were a tear so I could start in your eyes, live on your face, and die on your lips. I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart. Can I buy you a drink – or would you just prefer the five bucks? You: What are you doing around Easter?? Other: WHY? You: I might want to hop around. Can I have directions to your heart? Excuse me, but I’m new in town, can I have directions to your place? When God made you he had to have broken the mold because I have never seen anything as beautiful as you. I’ve heard sex is a killer, wanna die happy?